Bucket List Ticked off and Other Chennai Chronicles-1

Topping the Buzzfeed list in the world’s dangerous, life-risking, adrenaline- pumping adventurous activities is BASE jumping off Kjerag in Norway. Secondly, it is the Climb Leukerbad Via Ferrata in Switzerland and third comes Hiking the Salcantay trail to Machu Picchu. 

What if I tell you that all these are completely false.

Because the list-creator has yet to cross roads in peak-hour chennai traffic.

Officially declaring that crossing the road during peak hours in chennai traffic is the world’s most treacherous activity. It is an activity that requires pretty much nothing, but truck loads of luck, fate and destiny that you would discover only after you have survived the activity. In the buzzfeed list, the stated activities require planning and to some extent, training before the activity.

Road-crossing in chennai traffic is slightly different. 

Planning and training occurred not before crossing the road but mid-way as I crossed the road. And I checked how other veterans in this activity were doing it so effortlessly. (No) Rule number 1- don’t think before crossing. No, never do that! Because if I were to think of the starting point to cross, it would never happen. Like what Nike says, just do it. 

So I just started walking across the road and then stopped mid-way to monitor the massive traffic, only to see that on my left, what seemed to be a single lane had actually transformed, re-structured, re-constructed to probably 3 lanes of vehicles. 3 was a number that I guessed based on what I could deduce, at a distance of 100 m away from the oncoming traffic. As the vehicles approached my spot, 3 lanes eventually became 5 with auto-drivers swaying to the left and right forming more lanes and bikes overtaking on a supposedly single lane that was changed to a triple-lane, 10 seconds ago.

The unexpectedly danger-filled fun element of crossing the road lie in not getting knocked down by vehicles that were coming on my right side on a one-way road(oncoming traffic from the left only). There were more additional lung-ripping moments when autos took their chances to cut through the traffic diagonally. 

So at one point, as I was holding on to my mum’s arms tightly, I felt burdened for I was responsible for the safety of two precious lives. The adrenaline flooded my system like it was on an intravenous drip - right into my blood at full pelt. I thought my heart was going to explode and my eyes were wide, letting in every ounce of the vehicles light. The massive peak hour traffic was communicating in chennai’s native language- vehicle horns. It also reminded me that this sound might become a 'sangu' if I were to make any slightest wrong move to cross the road. 

I wanted to either run fast to the other side or just hope that the roads would swallow me inside- at that instance, the second choice was much safer than crossing the roads but instead I stayed right where I was. Sometimes, freezing was the best of the choices. I was reminded of every sin that I did in my life. I asked for forgiveness. Every inch forward engulfed me with more fear. Every auto screeched to a halt but maneuvered comfortably behind my back and whizzed past fast, faster than the rate of how CMs were changed in TamilNadu in the past 2 years.

Thank god! one bike driver stopped which meant that the vehicles behind him were forced to stop. We dashed across the road and made it alive. I looked behind at the path I came from. It was indeed true when they say ‘don’t forget where you came from. don’t forget the path that you travelled on.’

Bucket List Ticked off- I survived the world's dangerous activity. 

Don’t mess with Auto driver Anna

Reminded and reiterated my folks not to waste time bargaining with auto drivers. My rationale was simple- petrol/diesel prices have increased. If you were to calculate to Singapore currency, 100rs was only $2 for which you can’t even buy a plate of chicken rice. So a complete auto trip for less than the cost of a plate of chicken rice was something one should be grateful. However, not listening to your grown-up kids has always been the unwritten law in the book of universal Indian parenting.

It was a Sunday. The sun was fiercely hot. We flagged for an auto near Anna Nagar. One auto driver slowed down his vehicle to our spot and asked, “enna sir, enga ponum?” (Sir, where do you want to go?” )

(to be continued)