Vaigai Express- Why didn't this film collect 1000 crores as well?

The film started with a title card that shrieked the golden words- ‘Makkal Thalapathy RK presents’. And I knew I was in, for a hilarious riot for the next 2 hours or so. Lebara Play has released some new movies and this was one of them. Its rating indicated 2 stars but I still chose to watch it. Early morning boredom on a public holiday killed me. So what more could this film do to me?
RK, the hero of the film, was introduced as an one-man army from some RACT force squad who had the duty of searching a terrorist on the loose and a murderer who brutally killed 3 women on Vaigai Express, the train.

The terrorist role donned by Selvamani (Actress Roja’s husband) escaped from the train and somehow was found sitting near a playground. RK,the one-man army alighting from his jeep, without any army/squad/police force, was ready to chase Selvamani. Obviously who needs a squad for a terrorist who is hiding at a playground?

The weakest VFX team on earth, who probably used a trial version of the most basic VFX software in their computers that ran on windows 95 operating system, edited the mind-blowing, lung-shattering, liver-shuffling stunt scenes. Almost everything in the scene had to explode. Selvamani started running after realising that RK who looked like he was about to go for a groomsmen photoshoot, was there to chase him. 

At one point Selvamani took out a remote control. I thought he was going to save me by forwarding this scene. But no, that was the remote control to explode more backdrop properties. Surprisingly, RK ran everywhere except towards the terrorist. It was apparent that RK wanted to give the VFX team more footage.

They ended up in a water theme park. They then continued running on the humongous waterless theme park slides. At one point, RK aggressively kicked Selvamani and news flashed ‘terrorist caught’. End of VFX team’s expertise.

During the interrogation, Selvamani ferociously spat on RK’s face.  There were truckloads of foam-like substance enough to fill up the waterless theme park slides.

The next sub-plot of RK investigating the 3 murders in the train began. There were 5 compartments in the train, Vaigai express- a group of doctors who were celebrating a birthday, a lonely crime novelist, a Tamil movie actress and her elder sister and brother-in-law. There was MS Bhaskar, the TTR for the compartments. So audience were supposed to crack their head to guess who the murderer was. I was more interested to know who the writer and director of this IQ-vanishing film was.

After a series of head-bursting and migraine-inducing scenes, there was a scene where a character, probably the 67th character in the film uttered, “Mercy killing is common in Holland and Belgium,” rationalising the decision to allow one of the women who was severely injured in the murder attempt to die. RK turned his head, camera zoomed in slow motion, he faced the camera and powerfully gave the punchline, “ Aanaa Namma Irukurathu Tamil Nattuley”

“Namma Irukurathu Mental Hospitaley” would have been a better punchline. But I opted for pain and torture. So I shall not whine too much about this atrociously abysmal film where every part of film-making was disgracefully bad.

If one thing that was consistent and repeatedly evoked laughter, then it would be the overacting done by almost everyone except MS Bhaskar and Veteran Actor Nasser. These senior actors’ talents were mercilessly ruined like an Indian bride’s self-dignity and emotional state in an attempt to make everyone happy.   
 If only there were songs and dances, I could have rated this as my most favourite film because I am very sure those portions would be an unswerving addition to the existing unintended comedy scenes. Right now, Muthuramalingam is still going strong at the top position.